Unspecific Praise = It’s a No Go

What is it about us neurotic types? We can read a glowing review of our work, then manage to interpret even the smallest reservation as an insult.

I write short stories. Gratefully, I’ve had a few published and when I do, I share those small but meaningful milestones with my friends, family, and followers. I receive a variety of responses.

Here’s some advice: the best way to tell a friend you haven’t read their work is to reply with unspecific praise.  I’ve listed a few examples here followed by my translations. Enjoy!

Comment:	My translation:
I LOVE it!	I didn’t read it.
Can’t wait to read it!	I have no intention of reading it.
Congrats!	I didn’t read it.
Wow!	Are you kidding? I barely read your email! I’m certainly not reading your damn story.
Nice, reminds me of something (insert name of popular author here) might write.	I read the first sentence.
I will read it tonight. I promise!	I didn’t read it. I’m never going to read it.
That is so cool!	Who are you and why do you keep emailing me?
I love (insert a reference to the story title here).	I resent you and no, I didn’t read it.
Can’t wait to read more of your writing.	I only read stories 160 characters or less.